All girls love guys fighting over them, including supernatural ones

ARE YOU A VAMPIRE FAN? I'm a self-confessed fan of fang-crazy hits Vampire Diaries, True Blood and (yes, I am sorry) Twilight.

But under those lusty/romantic/suspenseful storylines, there’s a reoccurring theme that's annoyed me for quite some time.

I wasn’t able to put my finger on it at first but once I realised it, I was totally like – “You’re such a genius”.

Well actually I should say, the writers behind these hit franchises are geniuses because they’re all toying with an all-time favourite female fantasy of TWO GUYS FIGHTING OVER YOU.

AND it’s even better when two HOT guys are fighting over you.

Let’s look at this case by case.

"Oh you know, my usual Saturday night"

I don’t have to tell you the plot of Twilight but you'd probably agree with me when I say the gist is: The vampire and the werewolf, both dashing lads in their own right, constantly fight over Bella Swan – the new “strangely desirable although we can’t exactly come up with a reason why” girl in town.

Mine are so much hotter Bella!

 

THEN there’s Sookie and her two vampires. First, Vampire Bill who she’s fallen in love with and who in return swears to do anything for her. And then there’s Eric, the “evil” vampire(/nighclub owner?) who is just so damn sexy she can’t help but have sexual dreams about. Both are attracted to Sookie and her mysterious “powers” (again, he he) and fight for her attention.

Elena: "I win ladies."

Finally, Vampire Diaries... Elena Gilbert is an ordinary high school student who has two hot vampire BROTHERS fighting over her. She gets the best of both worlds: Stefan; who provides that sappy undying love devotion crap and Damon; who gives off the dangerous bad-boy but so totally in love with you vibes.

SEE? This is most definitely the formula for a hit Vampire novel/tv series/movie. Because at the end of the day guys fighting over us makes us girls feel special.


No Pamela?

No comment.

Ms Pamela Anderson is a real life example. She shifted between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock a number of times and in 2007 the two main men had a reported scuffle at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Witnesses said the confrontation started when Lee unleashed a snide remark as he passed Rock’s table. Rock allegedly responded by slapping Lee, then punching him in the face.

"I was minding myself, and then he goes and punches me on the cheek," Lee told "The Insider" after the event.

"I was trying to be the bigger man, but he was acting childish. ... [I] was ready to go in the alley and kick his ass."

Anderson must have loved having two famous dirt bags fighting over her.

If you haven't watched or don't remember Pammy's visit in Borat, I'm sorry.

Developmental psychology expert Cooper Lawrence told the NY Daily News that women like the idea of men fighting for her honor.


“It’s the concept that he’s willing to do whatever it takes and that she’s that important to him,” he explained.

So there you have it, if you’re female and you’ve watched all three Vampire dramas – that’s what you find appealing about. Hot men fighting over one girl.


Now that's settled lets all agree that Elena Gilbert deserves a medal for getting one goody-goody vampire and his bad-ass fanged brother to love her. Vampire Diaries fans alike champion the brunette beauty for getting the bad-boy Damon so love-struck he begins to turn good.

Bella also deserves some merit for using her mysterious appeal which causes BOTH a VAMPIRE and a WEREWOLF to fight over her “hand in marriage” (hold back the puke).

Please fellas one at a time...

But good-old southern belle Sookie deserves a crown for simultaneously having Vampire Bill on an invisible leash, the impossibly evil Eric obsessively intrigued with her and now (if you’ve watched the later seasons) a muscled werewolf to ditch his skanky girlfriend and fall for her instead. This isn’t including that weird guy who owns the town tavern and turns into animals who was also obsessed with her in the first season.



AND what keeps everyone  (in this case me) hooked is watching the incredibly stupid female lead run back to the lesser man time and time again. Having us form this hideous facial expression:

As Bella chooses the schmo on the right over the obviously better life choice on the left.

Jacob: "You're not that dumb are you?" Edward: "Yes she is."

And as Sookie chooses this:

Hi ladies, I'm Bill. . . .

OVER THIS -

Could I be MORE sexual?

Or even THIS.

Sookie I told you, stop looking at my guns.

And as Elena chooses this thing:

It's class photo day and I'm practicing my smile Elena, geez!

Over the perfection that is Damon:

I rest my case.


Note: sorry to all the Edward, Bill and Stefan fans for any insults this may have caused, but c'mon really?